Growth in 2022: April

 

Another month is about to pass us by, and this one has felt simultaneously very long and very short. It's been busy at work and busy at home, and we've gone through several cycles of going back and forth between winter and spring. And now we find ourselves arriving at the final week of April, which means it's time to look back and see how my One Little Word has made itself known. Thanks, as always, to Carolyn (who is celebrating her birthday today!) for hosting our monthly link-up.

I was thinking about this post over the weekend and finding myself at a bit of a loss as to how I had experienced Growth this past month. Because of the aforementioned busy schedule, I didn't feel like I'd had the time to be intentional about a particular area of personal growth. But then I realized that I have experienced some real growth this month, though I wasn't really aware of it at the time. Remember how chaotic that first weekend of the month was for us? Now if you know me well, you'll know that I like predictability and consistency and that unexpected events are often anxiety provoking for me. I'm a worrier by nature, and I don't like surprises. I have taken anxiety medication for years and have been through a lot of therapy over the years, but those things don't entirely get rid of my natural tendencies. So you can imagine how shocked I was when I looked back at that long day of attempted travel and realized that I did not lose my cool at all that day. Was I annoyed and disappointed? Sure. But I don't remember any moments of feeling overwhelming anxiety, even when I was literally sweating.

So what's caused this growth in my ability to keep my cool? Is it age or maturity? A greater realization of just how little control I have over how events in the world transpire thanks to the pandemic? The right amount of drugs in my system? Who knows! Why I'm calmer seems to be less important than the fact that I am, especially given that in addition to life's usual ups and downs, we have a bat mitzvah coming up later this year and it's bound to be a stressful as well as a happy occasion. I'm also continually aware of how I can model the ways I can difficult moments in life for Rainbow, who very much has the same emotional constitution, and I have to think that my calm on that airplane helped to keep her from completely melting down.

I hope April has been a good month for you and that your own journey with your One Little Word (if you have one) has been fulfilling this month. I'll see you back here on Wednesday for a crafting and reading update!