Somehow it's the final Monday of the month -- I'm still convinced that we skipped a week of November somewhere along the way -- and that means it's time to check in with my One Little Word for the penultimate time this year. Thank you to Carolyn for hosting this monthly link-up!
It's quite appropriate that Carolyn is mentioned at the top of this post because my experience with Growth this month had a lot to do with her.
I know the fact that I'm a major introvert is not news to regular readers of this blog. But what you may not know is that I'm also extremely shy and socially anxious, even around people I know. So putting myself out in public is not an easy thing to do, especially in a world where we've recently been so isolated. But this past weekend, that's just what I did.
About a month or so ago, Carolyn emailed me to say that she and her family would be in Pittsburgh over Thanksgiving weekend and asked if Rainbow and I would be interested in meeting up with her and her daughter Saturday evening while her husband and son were at the Penguins game. Of course I said yes (after checking with Rainbow), but almost immediately I started worrying about this meeting. Carolyn is someone I consider a friend -- we've been reading and commenting on each other's blogs for several years, exchanging emails, and also occasionally being in the same Zoom sessions. But we've never actually met in person. And here's where that shyness and social anxiety comes in: Would our conversation be the same in person as it was in email? Would it be awkward? Would she like me?
Here's the thing about social anxiety: Most of the time, things in my head are worse than they ever could be in real life. And friendships formed in a digital world aren't all that much different from face to face. If you've read Carolyn's blog post from the weekend, then you'll know we did meet up and had a wonderful time. Two hours over crepes flew by without a pause in conversation. We could have kept talking for hours! So my growth this month was all about learning to challenge those self-doubts and trust that a real friendship is the same, no matter the mode of connection.
I can't believe that we have just one month left for this year's One Little Word! I have no inklings yet of next year's word, but I expect that once my thoughts are no longer all about the bat mitzvah, I'll have more mental space and energy to think about it.
How has your One Little Word shown up for you this month? Have you started thinking about next year's yet?
I am so sad that I missed this event (although, the Forced Family FaceTime was hilarious! Much laughter, some 2nd grade jokes which were so bad they were funny, and once the "littles" faded away, lots of fun talk with me and the kids... an hour and a half later we ended!)
ReplyDeleteI think that growth has been an incredible word for you this year, Sarah. I have learned so much through you!
This is wonderful, Sarah! I definitely understand how you felt. I've agreed to things and then spent much time worrying, and even sometimes canceling. (I still get nervous before Read With Us Zoom meetings but always have fun.) But it has almost always turned out just fine, and if it wasn't fine, then I learned something. Way to go!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you pushed past your doubts and anxiety and had this meet up, it sounds wonderful! And good for you for recognizing how your word has helped make this possible, too.
ReplyDeleteOh, Sara. If you could have been in my head an hour before we met up!! For different reasons, I shy away from public + social events--in fact, often, a cancellation is music to my ears. But--when I DO go, I'm almost always glad I did. And crepes with you two was definitely one of those times! I'm looking forward to your visit to CHQ. Whenever it happens, we'll be here!
ReplyDeleteI so understand the social anxiety. I often dream about cancellations but most times I have a good time and then am glad I kept a social engagement. Kindness is my word this year. I haven't posted much but it has pushed me to do a few new-to-me things. What I've learned is that kindness is doable . One doesn't have to be an activist to extend kindness. And by the way, where is that extra month of November?
ReplyDeleteCancelling is one of my favorite things to do. I also get really nervous and assume that everyone is going to hate me, so I end up doing this self-protection thing and seem totally aloof. It's so annoying. It doesn't help that my in-laws are constantly telling me how uncomfortable I make them and that I always look miserable, so I've doubted my own social skills even more over the last couple of decades.
ReplyDeleteBut I am amazed that you and Carolyn got to meet and I'm so glad to read that it was so much fun! Maybe one year we can do an Unraveled meetup at Rhinebeck... that would be so much fun!
What a great (growth) experience for you, Sarah! As an introvert, I understand what you're talking about. I'm always hesitant about meeting "new" people (or my "computer friends" as Tom calls them) in real life. Then . . . I'm also always fine (and usually very glad) when I break through my comfort zone and do it. I have had the great pleasure of meeting many of my "computer friends" in real life, but I always get nervous before I do. So glad you and Carolyn (and daughters) got to meet up in person!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun time with you, Rainbow, Carolyn and her daughter. Interesting to me, reading the comments here, how so many of us are introverts at heart, shy, anxious about meeting new people IRL, etc., etc. Growth has been a great word for you this year Sarah!!
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