Growth in 2022: December

 

It feels appropriate to be posting this last One Little Word reflection from Florida because in a way, this is the place where Growth started. The photo I've been using all year is one I snapped on one of my walks during our time here last year, and typically this time at the end of December is when I have the time and brain space to think back on the year that's wrapping up and think ahead to the new year.

It's been a big month for our family, with the bat mitzvah and all its festivities marking the height of our activities. But after all that excitement, there was a bit of a letdown in that everything stopped and suddenly there wasn't anything to practice or plan for. I know Rainbow's been feeling a little lost the past week now that there is no longer something she always has to work toward. I've been filled with gratitude that it all worked out, and my heart has been full from a weekend of seeing our friends and family, some of them for the first time in more than three years. But it is a little jarring to go from all that excitement to the very quiet, calm days we typically have when we're here.

In some ways, I've also been planning for and looking ahead to this month and to wrapping up my journey with my One Little Word for the year. I think we can all agree that even if we've picked a great word, but the time we get to about October or November, we feel like we've examined it from every angle and have said all we have to say about our word. That's definitely been the case for me with Growth this year. I think it was a great word, but I also feel like I've incorporated it into my life so much that it's been hard to pinpoint some new facet of it to talk about every month, and I was starting to worry that I wouldn't have anything to share for this month's update.

But of course my OLW makes itself known in ways I didn't expect, as it always seems to do. Earlier this month, when things were getting really busy and stressful, I took a pause from writing in my journal every day. Journaling is something I started again at the beginning of the pandemic (it was something I did regularly through my teens and early 20s), and for the past few years, it's been a nightly ritual for me. Initially it was a way to keep my sanity when none of us had any idea what was going on, and later it evolved into a way to reflect on my thoughts and feelings. And it was something I did most days, even if I spent only a few minutes on it. But when I paused my writing this month, I realized that I didn't miss it or feel a need to go back to it immediately and, in fact, a lot of my most recent entries had been more of a recounting of things that had happened that day rather than any real reflection.

This is not to say that I plan to stop writing in my journal every day or that I no longer need to have one. But I think the shift in feeling like I need to write every day to wanting to write occasionally, when there's a need for me to examine my thoughts or feelings, shows some major growth. I have a better handle on things now, at least as far as the pandemic is concerned, and maybe I'm getting better about talking through things with others so I don't need to do it on my own. It seems like the journal itself has shifted from a crutch to a tool for me as well, and I no longer feel like I'm beholden to it.

I think the biggest thing I've taken away from my OLW this year is that having a growth mindset is a good thing. There will always be something new to learn and some way I can improve some aspect of myself, even as I say goodbye to Growth as a general theme. I've had some thoughts about my word for next year, but I haven't picked one just yet. I suppose I have some more growth left to do this last week of the year!

Thanks for coming along with me on this OLW journey this year, friends!