I can't believe that July is almost behind us; the year seems to be speeding up as we get further into it. But this week I am on vacation and focused on enjoying the bonus time with my kiddo. As it's the last Monday of the month, it's time for a check-in with my One Little Word and a link-up with Carolyn, who so kindly hosts our monthly reflections.
It's been a busy month with a lot of demands on my time -- work, synagogue board responsibilities, parenting, and of course reading and crafting. It would have been stressful enough without COVID also making a visit to our house, which required additional mental and physical energy in the form of cleaning, making extra meals to deliver to the invalid's door, and checking in with Rainbow to ensure that her anxiety related to her father's health didn't overwhelm her.
In what seems to have become a regular pattern with my One Little Word, I didn't really appreciate the Growth in my life until later. There is plenty of talk out there about imposter syndrome -- the phenomenon where fully capable people feel like frauds despite evidence to the contrary -- but I don't know of a comparable term for fully grown adults who persistently feel like they are still children. Whatever the name for that is, I've got it. I have lived on my own, held down a job, and birthed and raised a child, but there are still plenty of times when I look around for the adult in the room (spoiler alert: it's me). In this past month, without noticing, I've been "adulting" an awful lot. While the Mister was isolating with COVID, I had to run the household. As the new fiscal year has begun at our synagogue, I've taken on my duties as secretary and a member of the executive committee, which has meant participating in additional meetings in which big decisions have been made. I've had to put some boundaries in place at work with a coworker trying to dictate my work process. These weren't things that I made a conscious decision to do or had to psych myself up to do at the time but rather things that I just did because they needed to be done. Does this mean that I've finally matured? Maybe. But I think it certainly shows some growth on my part.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm 12 years old! And, I'm ok with that...because I know I can act as an adult should when needed. You sure do have a lot going on though...I hope you can take some time for self care as well (of course, spinning and knitting probably fall into that category).
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's not much fun when you think, "Someone should take care of that situation" and that someone is you! But it's also a good feeling when you do what has to be done and you can see that you can do hard things.
ReplyDeleteThis post packs such a BIG punch, Sarah. You and I are pretty darn close in age, relatively speaking, and I can, in great part, relate to what you're saying. It sounds like you've experienced the answer a bit in July! This post reminds me--I wanted to ask how you're feeling about your leadership role and expanded responsibility on the executive committee?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think we're all pretending at being adults! I'm glad you can see growth in hindsight.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lot you had and still have on your plate. I can relate to what you are saying. I sometimes wish for the wisdom of my grandmothers, aunts, and especially my mother. I'm wondering how in the world I have become one of the oldest females in the family.
ReplyDeleteJuly was a full month for you... in good ways, and not so good ways! I mean, who wants COVID in their house... honestly, this is my greatest fear (at least for the next 30-ish days). However, being the adult in the room is sometimes the last thing I want to do! When I don't much feel like adulting... I like the fake it till you make it theory. :)
ReplyDeleteMy gosh , a hard month indeed, and evidence of mega growth. So hard being the Adult in the room. Also hard dealing with colleagues. Massive round of applause from me.
ReplyDeleteI still find myself wishing there was an adult to handle some things around here too. But isn’t it great that we have this monthly opportunity to reflect and see where we are growing?
ReplyDeleteI'm also shocked that I'm an adult. And even more -- responsible for three little people!! I literally feel about 15 years old most of the time.
ReplyDeleteJuly was a month, for sure! You had so much on your plate and it looks like you handled it all with grace. I love how growth becomes obvious while looking back... this is a full year of thinking about how you've grown and stretched throughout your life - I just love it :)
I have learned to grow and take care of things all on my own this year so I understand. I am even cutting my own grass, not an easy thing in Florida with the heat, humidity and bugs but I am proud of myself for the growth I have made. I feel about 80 most days, especially with Covid in the house. Take good care.
ReplyDeleteI really got quite behind on my blog-reading this week (it was the lack of WiFi. . . ), but I wanted to pop in and tell you that in my experience, there are words that are "active" (where you can easily plan how you want to incorporate them into your life) and words that are less so (where you can see how they fit into your life only after they have). I think your word - growth - fits into the latter category. I mean, you can plan to be open to growth, but you can't always see it happening . . . until you realize it's happened! (My word this year is like that, too.) I love reading about all the growth in your life this year, Sarah. XO
ReplyDelete(what Kym said :-) It feels like my word is like that a bit, too, and that's the why these monthly check-ins are so important ... and it's wonderful to see how others are doing to cheer them on - yay! and note the synergies ... so many commonalities in our experiences!
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